Towards A Better Marriage 7: Shut The Door On Divorce

Reasons you should not divorce your spouse

In your marriage, many things can happen that may ‘push’ you to want a divorce from your partner. But it’s best not to take that option.

Your present marriage can still work out better for you and your spouse. That has been part of the goals of the towards a better marriage series we began a few weeks back.

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Stop Expecting Your Spouse To Fill The Void Only God Can Fill

In our last post in the towards a better marriage series, we dwelt on the need for you to give your best in order to make your marriage work. Let’s add to it however, that only God can meet your spouse’s deepest needs, and yours too.

I assume your spouse loves you very much and is fully committed to meeting your needs. But no matter how much he/she is committed to you, realise that you have needs that only God can meet. For such needs, never expect your spouse to play the role of God!

The same thing applies to him/her too; there are needs he/she has that you cannot meet, no matter how hard you try.

Inside everyone is a void that no other human can satisfactorily fill. That is why you need God.

It is only God that can meet your deepest needs; it is only God that can meet all your heart’s longings. Your spouse may try, but he/she cannot satisfy you completely.

Your spouse is not a miracle worker, so don’t expect him/her to do everything for you and be everything to you, every time. Just like you, remember that he/she is human, subjected to the various limitations of being a flesh and blood entity.

Meeting your spouse’s deepest needs is God’s job. Don’t place the burden on your spouse

Your spouse can make you happy sometimes, but he/she cannot keep you happy all the time. He/she may want to do it, but he/she simply is incapable of doing it every time.

You set yourself up for disappointment and your spouse up for failure if you expect him/her to do the impossible for you. Next time you want a miracle, ask from God, not your spouse. By that I mean you should stop expecting your spouse to fill the void only God can fill.

Let’s help one another, what do you think are the needs of spouses that their partners cannot meet, that only God can meet? Please enter your suggestions in the comment section. 

Thank you.




©CopyRight 2016 | Victor Uyanwanne

Give Your Best To Make Your Marriage Work

making your marriage work.

“Two people who decide to live together in a marriage situation have an obligation to make the marriage work for them.” With those wise words from Helen Reddy, I welcome you to the fifth post in the towards a better marriage series.

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5 Dire Consequences of Not Accepting Your Spouse As your Mr/Mrs Right

Your spouse is your Mr/Mrs Right

All your choices in life will either bring you rewards or consequences. Accepting your spouse as your Mr/Mrs Right is a good choice you must make if you want your marriage to bring you rewards of happiness and success.

This is the fourth part of our Towards a Better Marriage journey. In the last post in the said series, we said to whomever you got married has become the right spouse for you.

In other words, you should accept your spouse as your Mr/Mrs Right. That way, you would be able to team up with him/her to resolve any marital challenges that may cross your path.

It goes to show that if you think you made a mistake in marrying your spouse, you will not be able to love him/her as much as you should do

If you are in a committed marriage relationship and you are also committed to seeing the marriage work, then you must see the person you got married to as your Mr/Mrs Right. The constant thinking that you made the wrong choice in picking your marriage partner, will hinder  you from seeing many good things in your partner and in the marriage as well.

Eventually, if not properly handled, this may lead to unpalatable marriage experience such as divorce.

Here are five possible dire consequences of not accepting your spouse as your Mr/Mrs Right:

1. You will not be committed to the marriage

There is no hope of marital success for any couple without much commitment to their union. If you are not convinced that your spouse is the right partner you will not be able to make the necessary commitment that will make the marriage work.

Commitment is a vital key required to make your marriage work. Without it, nothing worth the while will be  achieved in the relationship. Without it, there is no future for the marriage.

2. You will find it harder to love him/her

Mutual love and understanding are important keys to marital survival! A marriage that is not founded on, and sustained by, love, will make the spouses miserable.

Needless to say, spouses should love each other. Accepting your spouse as the Mr/Mrs Right for you will make it easier for you to love him/her.

I am yet to see anyone who completely loves his/her mistakes.  It goes to show that if you think you made a mistake in marrying your spouse, you will not be able to love him/her as much as you should do. And without love, marriage will be less enjoyable.

3. You will blame your spouse for every problem you encounter in the marriage

Once you are totally convinced that you made the wrong choice in selecting your marriage partner, what would stop you from making him/her the scapegoat for whatever problems that crop up in your marriage? Nothing!

Remember we earlier advised that you should not blame your spouse when marital challenges surface between you both. You won’t be able to keep that humble piece of advice if you think you made a mistake in marrying him/her in the first place.

4. You will become unhappy and miserable

Marriage should bring you some level of happiness and fulfilment in life. But it will take cooperation from you as well as from your spouse to make that happen.

Remember the popular saying, “marriage should be enjoyed, not endured?” You will not be able to enjoy or feel happy about your marriage if you see your spouse as the wrong partner.

5. You will eventually decide to opt out of the marriage

The likelihood of divorce is higher in marriages where the spouses think they got married to the wrong persons as opposed to marriages with spouses who are convinced they chose the  right partners.

If you are not committed to your marriage enough, you don’t love your spouse as much as you should, you blame your spouse for everything that goes wrong and you are miserable in the union, how would you be able to escape the temptation to walk out of the marriage? 

The point is, if you have not convinced yourself that you have not made any mistake in marrying your spouse, you may end up divorcing him/her.


If you have not already done so, it is important you recognise your spouse as your Mr/Mrs Right. Failure to do so may hinder you from having a beautiful marriage experience.

You have read my thoughts. Please share yours in the comment section.


Still ahead: Towards A Better Marriage 5: Give Your Best To Make The Marriage Work.

©CopyRight 2016 | Victor Uyanwanne

Towards a Better Marriage 3: Accept Your Spouse as Your Mr/Mrs Right

Your spouse is your Mr/Mrs right.

Before you got married, you searched for your ever elusive Mr/Mrs Right. After you got married, do you think you made the right choice? Or, is your mind playing games with you that you made a mistake in your choice of spouse?

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Towards A Better Marriage 2: Six Simple Reasons You Shouldn’t Blame Your Spouse

Don't blame your spouse

In the first post in the towards a better marriage seriesit was acknowledged that problems do arise in marriages. But it was also stated that your spouse is not the problem and so he/she should not be seen as one.

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Towards A Better Marriage: Your Spouse Is Not The Problem

The problem in marriage

Marriage is a beautiful thing. But that doesn’t stop problems from cropping up in it here and there. If you are already in a committed marriage relationship, it is a mistake on your part if you see your spouse as the problem when those challenges arise.

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