6 Simple Reasons To Forgive Offences

Benefits of forgiveness

Everyone needs forgiveness.  On the other hand, everyone needs to offer forgiveness too. And as you well know,  ‘everyone’ here includes you!

“If there is no offence, there will be no forgiveness,” they say. And if someone offends you, you have the choice to either forgive or hold a grudge. Either way, there is always at least a benefit or a consequence.

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11 Hard Lessons For Personal Happiness You Should Know

By Victor Uyanwanne
To be happy, make others happy.

The responsibility to be happy and stay happy lies with you. That is to say that if you leave yourself at the mercy of others to make you happy, you will often be disappointed because no one person can make you happy all the time – not even your spouse.
You have the right to be happy and you have the freedom to seek happiness.  But don’t put yourself in a situation where your personal happiness is 100% dependent on other people.

When you make another person happy, it is your duty; If another person makes you happy, it is a favour.

No one but you can make you happy. This was well addressed on this blog in the post before this one.

Who to blame if you are not happy.

Let your happiness depend on YOU. In other words, you can choose whether or not to be happy. It is entirely up to you, irrespective of the prevailing circumstances around you.

To achieve this, there are some interrelated hard lessons on the responsibility for personal happiness you should know:

  1. You are responsible for your own happiness.  This sounds hard but it is true. If you can’t make yourself happy always, no one else will.
  1. Except you are still an infant, no one owes it to you to make you happy. Infants can’t take the responsibility for their own happiness. The burden is naturally that of their caregivers, parents or guardians.
  1. Although no one owes it to you to make you happy, you owe it to other people to contribute to their own happiness. Even the Bible says, “Owe no man anything, but to love one another.” So next time you see someone, remember that you owe him love.
  1. When you make another person happy, it is your duty; If another person makes you happy, it is a favour. While it is expected of you to contribute to someone’s happiness, it is only an act of favour if someone contributes to make you happy.
  1. You can’t truly be happy without making someone else happy. If you are seeking happiness, give it first. In The Wisdom Keys, Mike Murdock said, “what you make happen for others, God will make happen for you.” Those who make happiness happen for others will have happiness made happen for them.

want happiness

  1. Happiness is inside you, not outside. Those who seek happiness outside of their core being will never be fully satisfied. Most often than not, what you look for on the outside of you is already in the inside of you. Happiness is not an exception to this.
  1. If you are not happy, don’t blame anybody. Take full responsibility for your (un)happiness. If you don’t take the responsibility for your personal happiness, no one will.
  1. It is not bad to want personal happiness, but any attempt to rub other people of their own happiness in order to fuel yours will ultimately rob you of true happiness. So rather than concentrate on seeking happiness for yourself alone, you should also make room in your life to be a part of the happiness of other people. Someone once said, “It makes me happy to make other people happy.”
  1. If you sow happiness as a seed into the life of another person, it will ultimately come back to you as a fruit. An infallible law of nature states, “We reap what we sow.” If you are not reaping happiness where you are, you may have to cross-check the seed you have been sowing all along. Another definition of happiness is loving other people and being loved.
  1. You can hardly make other people happy if you are not happy yourself. To love others you have to first love yourself. Those who don’t love themselves are incapable of loving others. Even Jesus Christ said “love your neighbour as yourself”. This command to love others is premised on the natural assumption that you love yourself. It is not too late to start if you haven’t started already.
  1. Ultimately happiness is a choice. You can chose whether or not to be happy. It is not about what I say or what happens around you. It is largely up to you. So the next time you blame someone for your unhappiness, you know you blame the wrong person.

Please feel free to share your own thoughts in the comment section.


© Copyright 2015 | Victor Uyanwanne

No One But You Can Make You Happy

Everyone wants to be happy but not everyone is looking in the right direction to find happiness. Whether or not one finds happiness is largely dependent on where one is looking.

The key to your happiness
Key to happiness

When it comes to finding personal happiness, if you are not looking within you, you are looking in the wrong direction. The truth remains that one cannot find long-lasting personal happiness outside of one’s self.

The good news is that you can find happiness in life irrespective of your social status and irrespective of your geographical location.

For instance, some years ago, a BBC report based on a ‘happiness survey’ emerged which stated that “A new study of more than 65 countries published in the UK’s New Scientist magazine suggests that the happiest people in the world live in Nigeria – and the least happy, in Romania.” 

Various reactions trailed the publication of the findings of the report. But then similar sentiment had a long time ago been expressed by the late Nigerian Afrobeat musican, Fela Anikulapo Kuti  when he described the experience of living in Nigeria as “suffering and smiling” in one of his hit songs. That was Fela’s way of saying that Nigerians remain happy people even in the midst of obvious hardship.

I was born in Nigeria and I still live here with my beautiful family. I know first-hand what it means to live here.

I am not so much abreast with the underpinning situations in Romania to merit being named in that report as the abode of the least happy people in the world. But if people who live in Nigeria could be named  amongst the happiest people in the world, despite the enormous economic and socio-political challenges we experience on a regular basis, it goes further to show that anyone can be happy wherever he may live.

I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.

— Martha Washington

It has to be said that your real happiness does not reside in things or in objects, but in you. Any happiness derived from external sources such as money, sex, drugs, fame, position, achievement etc will only last for a while.  You don’t have to look too far around you to see examples that corroborate this assertion.

Finding Personal happiness

If you are looking for happiness, look inwards. If you fail to find real happiness within you, you may not be able to find it outside.  Real happiness comes from within, not from things, not from other people.

Having all the wealth in the world does not even guarantee happiness. The richest people on earth are not necessarily the happiest people; neither are the poorest the unhappiest. It all boils down to one’s inner ‘possessions’, core attitude, disposition to, and, focus in life.

Until you are happy with who you are, you will never be happy with what you have.”

Zig Ziglar

The seed of happiness is already in you. Nurture it; let it grow and it will produce its fruit. This is particularly true if you are a spirit-filled Christian.

Spirit-filled Christians have the seed of happiness already planted on their inside. In the book of Galatians, ‘joy’ is listed as one of the nine fruit of the Spirit.

As Christians we already have joy on our inside, even though not all of us demonstrate it as we should. In the words of Apostle Paul, “the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.” This is the meaning of real happiness.

You may not know it, but when you gave your life to Jesus, all the fruit of the Spirit were planted inside you in seed form. Through the Spirit you can experience joy and peace in every circumstance, no matter how difficult or painful.

– Joyce Meyer

Just like everyone else, I know you are looking for happiness in life. But the question is “where have you been looking?”

Often times you probably make the mistake of looking up to other people to make you happy. When they fail to meet the expectation, you become very unhappy, resentful and even suffer mild depression.

But should that be the case? Should you leave a part of your destiny – the decision for your own happiness – in the hands of other people?

Interest in Happiness

My friend, you should not leave your happiness in the hands of other people. Therefore, my simple advice is that if no one puts a smile on your face, do it yourself.  If no one makes you happy, do it yourself.

Those who wait for others to make them happy may never be eventually.

Happiness is an inside job. Don’t assign anyone that power over your life  Mandy Hale

Where is the Key to Your Happiness?

The key to your happiness is in your hand. Yes, you heard me right! It’s in your hand! If you allow other people to determine whether or not you are happy, it means you have turned the control of your life over to them.

Someone once advised, “Don’t put the key to your happiness into some else’s pocket.” No one can truly control you if he can’t control your happiness.

What makes you think everyone would cooperate to make you happy, anyway? Don’t you know that people are more interested in their own happiness than they are in yours? Don’t you realize also that you will be left miserable if you hang your entire hope of happiness on earth on other people?

Truth be told, there are more people on earth who are looking for other people to make them happy than people who are looking for other people to make happy. Chances are that every day of the week, the people you come across belong to the former category.

Does that mean that you will go through the whole week wearing a long face, because no one made you happy? I hope not!



© Copyright 2015 | Victor Uyanwanne