Pornography: Setting Up Defences In Our Daily Lives And Taking Them Seriously

You are not alone!

Addiction to pornography is a real issue in the world, even amongst some Christians. So if you are one of those fighting the battle against this unwholesome habit, know that you are not alone in the struggle.

But do not lose sight of the fact there is a way out for you. I mean, do not give up on yourself, thinking you have lost the battle already.

No, you haven’t!

The good news is that you can be helped – just like some people have been helped and have overcome the addiction to pornography.

dangers of pornography viewing

The rest of this post is a contribution from one of my readers. In response to my post On Billy Graham’s famed scandal-free life, the author openly shares his struggles with lust and pornography as well as the ways to gain victory over them.

And because I didn’t want the gems in the contribution to be buried away or lost all-together in the comment section of my blog where it was first posted, I have obtained the commenter’s permission to share the full text of the comment here so that many more of my readers can benefit from it.

I have inserted appropriate headings to make navigation of the article easier. I believe you will benefit from reading it.


Hello Victor,

Yes, pornography and lust have been my greatest of struggles. I wish I could say one day Jesus delivered me from those desires but to this day I have to remain on guard at all times.

For your readers I would start with how harmful pornography is, as many people think it is just a normal part of daily life, and countless Christians regularly view it…

Gaining the victory

Victory (which I am hesitant to call it) comes from three things.

First you have to HEAL the wounds of your past that drive you to watch pornography (or any other sin). This healing came to me through Celebrate Recovery, a Christ-centered 12 step Program.

What drives sinful behaviours?

Our sinful behaviour is driven by SOMETHING and often times the source lies in our past. When we can learn to truly heal those wounds, we can begin to be free of the bondage.

How do we heal those wounds?

[Through] Forgiveness!

[Realise that God has forgiven us and we should accept that forgiveness. We should also forgive ourselves and others who have offended us.

Recommended: 6 Simple Reasons to Forgive Offences]

Second, we have to set up defences in our daily lives and take this seriously.

The enemy is roaming about like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. The enemy wants to kill us and everything we have worked towards the kingdom of God… So we NEED defences.

Keith - Stand tall for Christ
Keith Mosher – standtallforchrist.com

What are the defences we need against pornography?

1) Accountability partners. We need to have a team (2-3) of trusted people of the same sex we can speak to about our most intimate sinful thoughts. People that won’t judge us and will support us by holding us accountable.

These people should be fellow Christians and it helps if they struggle in the same areas… or better yet have victory in your area of struggle. YOUR spouse should never be on this team… they are usually the victims of our stupid behaviour.

2) Accountability software. Personally I use Covenant Eyes, which sends a weekly report of all my computer and device activity to my accountability team. It’s only $15/month… but is invaluable. There are a bunch of others out there as well.

3) Identify your triggers and defend against them. TAKE Extreme measures if necessary, this is your marriage, your family, your ministry even your life that is on the line!!

For six months I pulled the TV off the wall, and read more books, because there were too many triggers on TV of sexual imagery and I could never predict when they would show up.

I quit ALL social media and still haven’t gone back to any of them. I gave up my smart phone for over a year and bought a flip-phone with no pornography access.

The last thing I will mention, not last in importance, but FIRST… is we need to spend quality time with GOD every day… not as a to-do-list or a good christian checklist. But because God wants a relationship with us, and how do we have a relationship with anyone we never spend time with?

It is Jesus Christ alone that will eventually demolish any strongholds of sin in our lives… but we have to do our part and turn away from our sinful desires.

I am always available for support and questions if any of your readers need help overcoming pornography or lust in their lives. We are in this together, we need to stand shoulder to shoulder on this battlefield.

Stay Strong & Stand Tall.

Keith


Thank you so much Keith for this awesome contribution.

Dear reader, please feel free to make your own contribution to the discourse via the comment section. And if you have any questions, Keith – “a Christian writer and Apologist who spends his time defending the faith, encouraging other Christian believers and serving in his local church” – has offered to provide answers.

Feel free to download his new ebook Shattering the chains of sexual addition. You may also visit his blog, Stand Tall For Christ, for more helpful resources.

©Copyright 2018 | Victor Uyanwanne

Conversations With Atheist 2

Conversations with atheists 2

Background Post: 16 Sobering Things Every Atheist Should Know 

This is the second post in the series, conversations with atheists. In the first post, we saw the comment of an atheist who claimed he is not destined for the love of God. Here in the second post, we will explore the conversations with another commentator to the referenced post,  16 Sobering Things Every Atheist Should Know .

During my interactions with him, he asked what came across like honest questions. So I was obliged to respond to him as much as I could.

Please enter the conversation (it is a bit long please).

Commentator 2

Hi there.

This is just my opinion but what a terrible and hurtful post.

I mean what happens to the less fortunate in life who have to deal with the ‘devils temptations’ on a day to day basis compared to the person who is wealthy and rarely troubled in practical terms. I mean a young person living in an impoverished third world country cannot be judged the same as a middle class Londoner and if that’s the case I disagree strongly.

I mean if I was a small child and a group of people burst into my home and killed my brother, raped my mother and sister and burned my village and turned me into a child soldier would I be judged the same throughout my life as someone who works as shop assistant in a grocery store in London. How does that work? Surely there’s going to be some issues there regarding level playing field.

Not to get all judgemental or anything but God doesn’t even seem like that nice a thing to be honest. He seems like a mystical dictator representing thug life and using life as a playground. I demand I go to ‘hell’ consider it my protest. I mean c’mon, god seriously needs to get his house in order.

Would you say anything about god is dubious or questionable? I personally hate how it plays on fears we all might have and frankly I just don’t have time for it. If you don’t believe in god, are you able to love? God is love, what even is that? I mean These are the kind of statements you hear during a weekend spent taking hallucinogens.

I feel we all have a god of sorts inside us that is our morality, standards, aspiration etc… A life-long developing mentality.

How can anyone know god exists? I accept you can believe of course but this post is something else.

I don’t really believe in anything, I guess there could be a higher power of sorts out there, maybe not. Who actually knows?

Have a great day:)

My Response

Hi G, thanks for stopping by and commenting. I appreciate that you had to share your ‘opinion’ as you called it. But I feel that probably a few things weren’t clear to you.

Of course, there is a ‘Higher power’ as you chose to call Him. But we know Him as God, the creator of Heaven and Earth. Whether you believe in Him or not doesn’t take away anything from His existence, because He is all sufficient by Himself. But it is in your best interest to believe in Him.

In any case, you seem not to know anything about Him as you painted Him a wicked ‘man’ which He is not. I will like to introduce Him to you as a loving Father who loves you so much He made a provision for the redemption of your soul. Or haven’t you ever wondered what you would do about your sins?

Of course, anyone can know that God exists – including you. Because anyone who seeks God with all His heart will find Him. Many people around the world have found Him and so can you!

What He wants from you now is to have a personal relationship with Him through His son Jesus Christ. Feel free to let me know if you want to know how this works.

In response to the issue on judgment you raised, I will tell you one thing: God will not judge anyone based on whether you lived (as you put it) in London or in some third world country or any other part of the world for that matter. His judgment will be based on the simple but vital question “Did you accept or reject the grace of salvation which I (God) offered to the world through Jesus Christ?.”

It will be an individual thing and everyone will answer for himself; you will answer the same question too. And your lifetime is your only opportunity to decide on that.
You have a nice day too!

Commentator 2

I see but surely one’s decisions will be greatly influenced by what has happened in one’s life. Like I am going to find it a lot more difficult to accept salvation if one has been tested in far more hurtful ways and a tougher environment than say another.

Thanks for the reply.

My Response

G, I agree with you that one’s experiences in life may affect his decisions. That’s understandable. But having experienced a hard life doesn’t mean one cannot accept salvation. In fact, there are several people whom it was their suffering/hardship that led them to accept salvation. When they found that they reached their end, they decided to seek God and got help.

Jesus Christ actually made a special invitation to everyone experiencing burdens in life. He promised them rest they can’t find anywhere else (Matthew 11:28).

But one should not actually wait until he reaches a dead end before coming to God. In any case, whether one has a good/easy or a hard life on earth now, everyone needs God. No exceptions.

Commentator 2

Also someone born closer to the time the events of christ etc… took place are going to have a much easier time having faith than those born thousands of years later. It seems like such an uneven playing field.

In an ideal world, it would be great to be able to believe in a just fair god but if god said such and such is wrong and that such and such is right would that be the way no questions asked because it is the will of god?

I mean what about women’s role in the society (what’s that all about!), the LGBT community who just want to be happy or dietary stuff. In terms of how out of touch God is with the world, it amazes me when the bible I think says that if you lust after a woman you see on television you have committed adultery, seriously? What do you think about these?

If anything god really lacks foresight as the world has developed to the extent that it is nearly impossible to adhere to his laws.

To me, he is a dictator with some proper disturbing views that maybe was a sign of the times but still.

For example, how would you interpret the following?

Numbers 31:17-18

“Now therefore, kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves”.

Thanks

My Response

G, I appreciate your time here. So I will try to answer your questions to the best of my knowledge. (Pardon the lengthy words please):

  • I understand your assumption that people that lived around Jesus Christ’s time would find it easier to believe in Him than the people after that time. But that’s not exactly what Biblical records and history tell us. There were people who rejected Jesus then as there are people who are rejecting Him in our days now. One thing is sure though: there are more followers of Jesus Christ now in the world presently than there have ever been at any time in history. The Gospel of Christ is what people need to hear to believe in Jesus Christ, not whether or not they lived in Jesus time.
  • God is a God of justice. But He didn’t say we should not ask questions, as you suggested. In fact in Isaiah 41:21, God Himself challenges us with this: “Present your case,” says the LORD. “Set forth your arguments,” says Jacob’s King. In another place, He says to us “Come now, let us reason together…” Isaiah 1:18. So if we have questions, feel free to ask. The only difference is whether or not one asks genuinely.
  • Of course, God has roles for women in the society, no doubt about that. But it may not be in the way some people have understood it to be.
  • Everyone (not just the LGBT community you mentioned) has right to seek happiness and God approves of that too. In fact, Jesus says He wants our joy to be full. But it is in knowing God that there is a real joy and happiness.
  • G, God is not out of touch with the world as you suggested. It is even more appropriate to say that it is the people of the world that are losing touch of God. All men, including you, need to get know God better.
  • You sounded funny with your comment on ‘lust’. Be reminded that the dictionary defines lust as “strong sexual desire.” Is it appropriate to have a strong sexual desire for any woman you see on TV, (as you put it)? I will let you know that God doesn’t want people having strong sexual desires for someone OTHER THAN THEIR SPOUSE. I hope that’s clear enough?
  • You can’t keep all the laws on your own; no one can. But you can accept Jesus and He will give you the grace to please Him.
  • God is not a dictator as you believe. The story of killings you referred to in Numbers, was God’s judgment on the Midianites for their ‘sins’ AT THAT TIME. But you see, by the grace that Jesus Christ has brought to the world, God is not PRESENTLY judging people that way. We are in a time of GRACE now. As the Bible says, “God is patient towards us all, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.” And NOW IS THE DAY OF SALVATION!

Thanks for your time.

Food for Thought.

  • Does it make sense that someone would demand to go to hell than believe that God exists?
  • Will God judge anyone based on where he lived ( whether he lived in developing or developed country)?
  • What is the basis of morality of atheists, since they don’t believe in God?
  • Is suffering leading people to, or away from God?
  • How do you explain the love of God to an atheist?

What do you think?