Stop Expecting Your Spouse To Fill The Void Only God Can Fill

In our last post in the towards a better marriage series, we dwelt on the need for you to give your best in order to make your marriage work. Let’s add to it however, that only God can meet your spouse’s deepest needs, and yours too.

I assume your spouse loves you very much and is fully committed to meeting your needs. But no matter how much he/she is committed to you, realise that you have needs that only God can meet. For such needs, never expect your spouse to play the role of God!

The same thing applies to him/her too; there are needs he/she has that you cannot meet, no matter how hard you try.

Inside everyone is a void that no other human can satisfactorily fill. That is why you need God.

It is only God that can meet your deepest needs; it is only God that can meet all your heart’s longings. Your spouse may try, but he/she cannot satisfy you completely.

Your spouse is not a miracle worker, so don’t expect him/her to do everything for you and be everything to you, every time. Just like you, remember that he/she is human, subjected to the various limitations of being a flesh and blood entity.

Meeting your spouse’s deepest needs is God’s job. Don’t place the burden on your spouse

Your spouse can make you happy sometimes, but he/she cannot keep you happy all the time. He/she may want to do it, but he/she simply is incapable of doing it every time.

You set yourself up for disappointment and your spouse up for failure if you expect him/her to do the impossible for you. Next time you want a miracle, ask from God, not your spouse. By that I mean you should stop expecting your spouse to fill the void only God can fill.

Let’s help one another, what do you think are the needs of spouses that their partners cannot meet, that only God can meet? Please enter your suggestions in the comment section. 

Thank you.




©CopyRight 2016 | Victor Uyanwanne

12 Beautiful Things I learnt From Starting a Blog

12 beautiful lessons I learnt from starting ablog

When I started a personal blog a year ago, it was part of my desires to share living ideas or appropriate thoughts in a way that would inspire or be a blessing to my readers. I equally saw it as an avenue to explore my writing potentials which I presumed I had but haven’t really explored on a very large scale before.

Looking back now, I realised that apart from helping in honing my writing skills more, I have also learnt a handful of positive personal lessons which are worth sharing.

Here are some of the beautiful things I learnt from starting a blog:

  1. The ideas or thoughts you have in your head would never be a blessing to others except you shared them.

Blogging has provided me the most organized platform for sharing my thoughts beyond my nose. If you have ideas worth sharing, it is okay to consider blogging.

I am grateful to all those who have given me the feedbacks that indicated they found my posts very useful. I found too that my writings are also a blessing to me, personally. I guess there are writers who would identify with that feeling.

  1. You don’t necessarily have to be an expert in anything before you start a blog.

I wasn’t one either! But you would never get started if you think you are not an expert in your field yet. The little you know and share can be a blessing to someone out there.

I know there are specialized blogs out there. But one thing is sure: Everyone is searching; no one has all his/her questions already answered. Otherwise, no one would be reading.

  1. You are not the best, neither are you the worst blogger.

You can easily know that you are not the best blogger out there. But on the flip-side too, don’t see yourself as the worst either. Whether as an established blogger or a nascent one, I found we are all learning to do this blogging thing better.

You may feel that others are doing it better than you are doing (which may be true). But that’s not enough reason to be discouraged. And there is room for you to come on board if you haven’t started at all. The world is waiting to hear your unique voice.

  1. Until you decide to reach out to others, you will remain in obscurity.

Blogging has been an awesome avenue for me to reach out to people across the world. Once you put your thoughts out there, both people around and across the continents can access them.

Except in my dreams, I have never been to any part of Europe or Asia or America or Australia. But people in these places are reading and following my blog. Suffice to say that but for my blog, they might never have heard about me. I reached out to people and now I have people reaching out to me.

  1. Not everyone will agree with your views but there will be someone who does.

In as much as you don’t agree with every opinion that people put in your face, it is also fair enough to expect that not everyone will agree with yours. All the same, congratulations to you if you find that you have more people who agree with your views than those who don’t.

The ‘like’ and ‘comment’ parts of my post will often have a pointer to whether or not someone liked my expressed views. So if someone disagreed with me enough to leave me a comment that states so, I would often be glad about it and would take it as an invitation for further interaction.

  1. You will meet unusual people.

Except your blog is a private one, you will not be able to limit or determine those who read it. That means anyone anywhere can find your blog and read you online except it is indexed to be unsearchable on Google for instance.

In the course of the last year, I have had some atheists visit my blog. Their visit led to a series of online interaction between them and me. I later converted the interactions into several series of new posts. This was unusual for me because up till that time, I had never had any close encounter with any avowed atheist.

  1. Negative criticisms hurt but you need not let them stop you.

I would love to tell you that I have never been negatively criticized for starting a blog, but that would be a lie. I have been harshly criticized by some people who heard that I was running a blog.

Sadly enough, as I later found out, most of such people have never even read a paragraph of any of my posts. Yet they took joy in deriding my humble efforts. Sometimes, I felt hurt by those unwarranted verbal attacks. But as you can see, I have not allowed such negative responses to stop me, neither should you.

  1. In the midst of negative criticisms, there are still some nice people to urge you on.

Such wonderful souls could be found around you, or they may also be located thousands of miles away from where you are. Irrespective how much negative criticisms you get, one thing is sure, there would be someone somewhere who would appreciate your blogging efforts and would be glad to cheer you on.

There was a time I found myself complaining that I was facing too many harsh criticisms about the fact that I started a blog, a very kind human voice I met said to me, “Victor, ignore those who criticize you harshly. Don’t let them stop you.” That advice has been very helpful.

  1. Your friends and family may not be interested in reading your blog as much as you would expect them to do.

You have the freedom to expect that your friends and family members would be the most ardent followers/readers of your blog. Unfortunately, this may not always be so, as I found out.

Most followers of my blog are from across the oceans. It appears that what Jesus said about a ‘prophet not having honour in his home country’ applies in blogging too. But that awful reality should never discourage the prophet. So why should it stop the blogger?

  1. More ideas will come to you as you write your posts.

I discovered that the more posts you write and the more you read other blogs, the more inspiration you get to write more relevant pieces. Even a preacher knows that writing a sermon becomes easier as he does it over time.

No need to worry over what to write. Just get started by writing something – anything – and more ideas will begin to flow to you as you write. (As I was writing item no 5 above, I got the idea to write another item for post of which I have drafted the title and 5 supporting bullet points). You see what I mean?

  1. One little step can open several opportunities.

Through my blog for instance, I met Edmond Saganyando, who invited me to be a contributor to his blog. Some of my blog posts have been reblogged on other sites too.

From writing blog posts I have also received the inspiration to start some other worthwhile projects. I really agree that there are limitless possibilities in blogging. You may never find out until you get started.

  1. I did it, so can anyone; even you!

Starting a personal blog was a little step I took a year ago. I could say that I am better off in so many ways now than I was before I came into blogging.

What have you learnt from your experience of starting a blog? Kindly share your story.

 

©CopyRight | Victor Uyanwanne

YOUR DESTINY IS GREATER THAN YOUR CURRENT OCCUPATION

YOUR DESTINY IS GREATER THAN YOUR CURRENT OCCUPATION
By Victor Uyanwanne

Mark 6:3-4
You carry a greater destiny than your present occupation.

Jesus was a carpenter by occupation but his destiny was to save the entire world from sin. By the circumstance of his earthly birth into the family of a carpenter father, he learnt and practiced the earthly father’s trade until it was time for him to step out in faith to fulfill his greater calling in life.

The occupation you have now might not be your ultimate call in life.
By the reason of the family you were born into, and the environment in which you were brought up working alongside other external and internal factors, you chose a career path for yourself. But that is by no means all there is to you. Just like Jesus, your ultimate purpose in life weighs far more than the profession you may have taken for yourself or found yourself in.

People will not know your divine destiny, hence they will naturally underestimate your worth and capabilities. But God will not make that mistake because He made you for a purpose, which He is ready to accomplish with you if you let Him.
What you owe God and yourself is to discover and pursue that destiny. Please don’t settle for less.

This was inspired and written while in Lagos traffic, while reading Mark 6 via my BB phone. 9:21pm, 19.07.2013.