Before you call me insensitive because I said that, you should at least hear me out.
Don’t give up on your marriage because marriage has not given up on you.Tweet
I am aware that saying “no to divorce” is not a very popular thing to say these days. We live in a world where it has become easier or more acceptable for couples to walk away from their matrimonial homes, even at the slightest provocations.
Whatever happened to commitment in marriage? (This is not an attempt to undermine those that have critical, life-threatening marital issues).
Second, I do not mean to condemn you if you have taken the divorce option already – I am not in a position to do so. But I believe I am free to put in a word or two on why a committed couple that wants to make their marriage work should shut the door on divorce.
What you are committed to, you don’t give up on. So if you are truly committed to your marriage, you will not want to give up.
If you haven’t left this page by now, it gives me the feeling that you are still open to the idea of doing whatever is necessary to making your marriage work, as opposed to taking the divorce route.
Let’s take a look at:
6 reasons I suggest you should not end your marriage in divorce
1. No marriage is irredeemable – including yours
Irrespective of where you are on your downhill decent towards marital oblivion, know that your marriage is not beyond redemption.
It is possible you are experiencing many problems in your marriage right now. But that doesn’t mean you should walk away from your marital vows just like that.
Don’t give up on your marriage because marriage has not given up on you.
If you believe in God, neither the problems you face currently, nor the ones you will face in future, are insurmountable. With God, nothing is impossible – including saving a troubled marriage like yours.
With the right doses of commitment, proper attitude and help, you can find solution to any of your marital challenges.
2. Divorce is not the best way to resolve marital issues
There are many ways of resolving marital conflicts. Divorce is definitely not the best option.
These series towards a better marriage were purposed to offer tips on finding greater joy and fulfilment in your marriage. And walking out of your marriage is not an option we recommend here.
Give your best to your marriage and shut the door on divorce. Things will work our for the better.
If divorce is the best solution to challenges in marriage, why do we have people who are divorced more than once?
Divorcing your first spouse is not a guarantee that your next marriage will be successful. Even if you are on the verse of divorce right now, I believe you can still have a rethink.
3. Think of the impact of the divorce on your children, if you have any
If you can find an excuse to sue for divorce, you can also find a reason (your children, for instance) to stay in the marriage – and make it work.
Procreation is one of the basic reasons for marriage. God made it in such a way that it takes a male and a female to procreate. But procreation is not the end of the story; the task of raising the children is there too.
Child-raising is already a difficult job by itself. Divorce will make it more complicated.
We are all familiar with media reports on cases of juvenile delinquencies, sexual abuse, and so on. Children from broken homes are the most vulnerable to such.
Your children deserve the love and care of both of their parents in the same marital union. Don’t deny them that right because of your selfish reasons by taking the divorce option.
4. Just like your current spouse, there is no all-round-perfect partner out there
I know your spouse is not perfect, neither are you.
You think you are carrying heavy burdens in your marriage? You can talk to God about it. He is waiting for you.Tweet
Why do you want to get a divorce? Is it to get married to a ‘better’ person? You may get the rude shock of your life because one thing is sure: there is no perfect spouse out there!
The best spouse is the one you are married to, not the one you plan to get married to after a divorce. The grass may appear greener on the other side, but that is not the way it is.
It is illusionary to think that should you divorce your spouse, you would be happier with another partner. Some people realise that mistake way too late.
5. If you take the option of divorce and then remarry, you are likely to take the same option a second time
Let me guess what you are thinking after reading that: Victor, you are taking it too far.
I don’t want to argue with you on that. We already said that divorce is not the best solution to marital crisis. So why don’t you do your best and make your current marriage work?
Getting a divorce now is not a guarantee that you will get to the promised land of marital fulfilment with a new spouse. The natural question I should ask you then will be: if you remarry after divorce and it turns out the marriage fails to work again, will you stay put in it or go through another round of divorce?
Are you glad adding to the increasing statistics of multiple divorces? If your answer is yes, then I am afraid you have no business reading this post in the first place!
6. God hates divorce
Divorce is permissible but it is not God’s best for you. God loves you but He hates divorce.
If you are His child already, remember that with your cooperation God can restore or heal your troubled marriage – no matter the kind of problem you might be experiencing. He has done it for a good number of people who exercised their faith in Him.
He will be glad to help you too. Even if you don’t have a personal relationship with God yet, you can start one with Him right now by responding to the open invitation He has given you already:
You think you are carrying heavy burdens in your marriage? You can talk to God about it. He is waiting for you.
The best way of resolving challenges in marriage is not for you to take to divorce. No matter how bad your marriage has deteriorated, it is not a hopeless case.
All I’m saying that you should shut the door on divorce and put in all your best to make your marriage work. It is possible.
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