11 Hard Lessons For Personal Happiness You Should Know

By Victor Uyanwanne
To be happy, make others happy.

The responsibility to be happy and stay happy lies with you. That is to say that if you leave yourself at the mercy of others to make you happy, you will often be disappointed because no one person can make you happy all the time – not even your spouse.
You have the right to be happy and you have the freedom to seek happiness.  But don’t put yourself in a situation where your personal happiness is 100% dependent on other people.

When you make another person happy, it is your duty; If another person makes you happy, it is a favour.

No one but you can make you happy. This was well addressed on this blog in the post before this one.

Who to blame if you are not happy.

Let your happiness depend on YOU. In other words, you can choose whether or not to be happy. It is entirely up to you, irrespective of the prevailing circumstances around you.

To achieve this, there are some interrelated hard lessons on the responsibility for personal happiness you should know:

  1. You are responsible for your own happiness.  This sounds hard but it is true. If you can’t make yourself happy always, no one else will.
  1. Except you are still an infant, no one owes it to you to make you happy. Infants can’t take the responsibility for their own happiness. The burden is naturally that of their caregivers, parents or guardians.
  1. Although no one owes it to you to make you happy, you owe it to other people to contribute to their own happiness. Even the Bible says, “Owe no man anything, but to love one another.” So next time you see someone, remember that you owe him love.
  1. When you make another person happy, it is your duty; If another person makes you happy, it is a favour. While it is expected of you to contribute to someone’s happiness, it is only an act of favour if someone contributes to make you happy.
  1. You can’t truly be happy without making someone else happy. If you are seeking happiness, give it first. In The Wisdom Keys, Mike Murdock said, “what you make happen for others, God will make happen for you.” Those who make happiness happen for others will have happiness made happen for them.

want happiness

  1. Happiness is inside you, not outside. Those who seek happiness outside of their core being will never be fully satisfied. Most often than not, what you look for on the outside of you is already in the inside of you. Happiness is not an exception to this.
  1. If you are not happy, don’t blame anybody. Take full responsibility for your (un)happiness. If you don’t take the responsibility for your personal happiness, no one will.
  1. It is not bad to want personal happiness, but any attempt to rub other people of their own happiness in order to fuel yours will ultimately rob you of true happiness. So rather than concentrate on seeking happiness for yourself alone, you should also make room in your life to be a part of the happiness of other people. Someone once said, “It makes me happy to make other people happy.”
  1. If you sow happiness as a seed into the life of another person, it will ultimately come back to you as a fruit. An infallible law of nature states, “We reap what we sow.” If you are not reaping happiness where you are, you may have to cross-check the seed you have been sowing all along. Another definition of happiness is loving other people and being loved.
  1. You can hardly make other people happy if you are not happy yourself. To love others you have to first love yourself. Those who don’t love themselves are incapable of loving others. Even Jesus Christ said “love your neighbour as yourself”. This command to love others is premised on the natural assumption that you love yourself. It is not too late to start if you haven’t started already.
  1. Ultimately happiness is a choice. You can chose whether or not to be happy. It is not about what I say or what happens around you. It is largely up to you. So the next time you blame someone for your unhappiness, you know you blame the wrong person.

Please feel free to share your own thoughts in the comment section.


© Copyright 2015 | Victor Uyanwanne

6 thoughts on “11 Hard Lessons For Personal Happiness You Should Know

  1. bjsscribbles Dec 5, 2015 / 10:47 am

    Very well thought out I smiled to myself reading your work. Great blog


    • Victor Uyanwanne Dec 5, 2015 / 6:42 pm

      Bjscribbles. I am glad my work put a smile on your face. Thanks for the warn comment and for stopping by.


      • bjsscribbles Dec 5, 2015 / 11:02 pm

        Your welcome


  2. Patricia Sep 27, 2015 / 4:30 pm

    I especially like the one about not being able to make someone else happy if you are not happy yourself. I have never forgotten when I really got that you cannot be loved until you love yourself. I had always thought that was a dumb saying until I heard it explained in a church. I now believe it is because you are more attractive to others when you love yourself, same with happiness. Really nice post!


    • Victor Uyanwanne Sep 28, 2015 / 7:55 am

      Thanks for your comment, Patricia. I am glad you like the post. Your experience about loving yourself before you can love others is so true. Regards.

      Liked by 1 person

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